You’re not special, you’re just stubborn.

I labored under a delusion for years that writing was precious, unique, and important. That my worlds were somehow glimpses into something Great and Beyond, and that my abilities as a writer would someday inspire awe and adoration. In those years, I didn’t write very well, and I didn’t write very much; I also never considered all that went in to actually getting a book published. I had a kind of distant understanding that eventually I’d have to actually share what I did, and that likely to get something to the masses, that would require, you know, time and publicity and all that (something I’m just starting to consider now).

But, like most newbies, writing was what took up most of my time and brain power. It was the intoxication of creation, and certainly the rather astounding power of storytelling and escape that did it for me. And though it was far from the most productive time, it was an important time to have, because it taught me what I loved to write.

And though I’d written thousands upon thousands of words, I didn’t finish writing an actual book until I was in Graduate School. And that book, like I’ve mentioned before, is not yet ready for publication; I’m not sure it will be for a long time. But the problem was output. It took me three years to write that first book; more, if you consider I’d actually started the initial idea much earlier on, right out of high-school.

I forget what led me to it, but sometime after my son Liam was born, I had an epiphany. Yes, one of those. And it really came down to this: either I was going to be a writer, or I wasn’t.

Don’t get me wrong here, it wasn’t that the transformation happened over night. But over the course of the last year, I’ve slowly been making writing a part of my day–not counting the blogs, or Twitter, etc. It’s not a matter of being special, it’s being stubborn. NaNoWriMo definitely helped me realize that I have a great work ethic if I have a goal in mind. So I restructured the way I write.

This, of course, was a version of what Cory Doctorow wrote in the January issue of Locus, “Writing in the Age of Distraction“. But I figured it out the month before. I’m not as spartan as Mr. Doctorow, nor as busy I don’t think, but the premise is this: whenever I sit down at the keyboard, I’m going to write 1,000 words. In that space of time, there’s no Twitter, no Facebook, no “research” distractions. No Gmail. No blog posts. No blog post stat checking. And if I don’t feel like writing? It probably means that I should.

As a result, I’ve turned writing into a habit. My son naps for 1-2 hours a day, and sometimes that’s the only time I have to write. But instead of surfing the web, or spending the time lost on Hulu, I write. Period. I’ve found that not only am I more prolific, but that the resulting work is much better than when I have a whole day to do nothing but write (and as a result, don’t). Some days, I don’t get any more writing in than during his naptime; anything else, and I consider it icing on the cake.

I also have learned to let go of some of my self-consciousness. This is hard for me, and there are still days I cringe at the idea that anything I’ve written it out there, that people are listening and reading. But I love what I do, and a quick trip to any fiction section always reassures me: you don’t have to be Joyce to publish. And in fact, if you write like Joyce, most people aren’t going to get it anyway.

Let’s face it: very few of us are savants. We’re storytellers. And words are malleable, editable, changeable. We can always write better. The thing is, writers who write are just stubborn. They’re not happy waiting around for someone to “discover” their half-written masterpiece. They’ve got to see it through.

I guess I’ll call this the Frank O’Hara approach. Sure, it won’t work for everyone. But use your time as you have it, and be stubborn. Laugh when a scene goes wrong, but press through. Cringe at that dialogue, but know–hey, that’s what edits are for. Keep moving forward. Knowing that you’re not special means you open up a world of other writers going through exactly what you are. Meet them, reach out to them, become a part of a community. You have to live inspired before you can inspire.

Advertisements

4 Comments on “You’re not special, you’re just stubborn.

  1. I agree that most writers are stubborn and have little time to write. Some people write just because it is fun, not because they want to be published and change the world. If writing is something that you love and you want to continue with for a long time, spend time perfecting the craft. If you realize that it really is just for fun, then use it for fun. I think that you still have many feelings to sort out.

    Whatever you choose as your approach to writing, stay positive.

    Ceylan

    • @Ceylan Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love writing. But, for me, loving it isn’t enough for me to be prolific. Success isn’t a big deal for me, but sharing my stories is. And that I’ve done. Whether or not I can make a living at it is up for debate; it doesn’t matter, in the end, for me. What matters is that I did what I set out to do: I wrote books.

  2. I’m trying to settle into a daily regiment. But it’s really tough! I fall into some of the pit traps Cory wrote about. *sigh*
    I heard there’s a program that shuts off all your other programs for a set amount of time so you can focus on writing. Maybe I should find that and give it a go…

    • @cirellio Unfortunately it’s never fail proof. I hit my goal yesterday, but it was crud. Not to mention instead of writing I ended up going to bed. To sleep. It was that kind of day! The most important thing is that you try, that you make the effort. Eventually, if you keep working at it, you’ll hit your stride. I find the “mini-rewards” to work really well! I guess I’m just a Pavlovian writer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: